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Week 1 - RTFC Vs Santos
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RTFC - 23 Vs Santos - 4

The Romford Town 3rd season kicked off with the biggest win the team as ever had, setting records all over the place.  The first time that every player who was playing had scored a goal.  Also, this was the first night that me (the industrious Murrell) was wearing glasses before and after the game.  Ahh the connection has been made.
With only 6 players on the books, Romford Town were a man down and expecting a fitness problem.  A game of super-natural heights was in store though as the 6 brave men marched into battle and literally ripped 5-a-side new boys 'Santos' to shreds.  Too many goals to mention of course and having done the match report so late I can't remember any of the goals, including mine! 
I can say with confidence that John McGhee had an outstanding time out on pitch coming forward more than usual to leave his defensive duties behind and take the game to the opposition while wearing his shooting boots.  McGhee's control and first time touches also proved to be invaluable as and when he joined the attack. 

"Dust? Anybody? No? Dust? Anybody? No? Dust? Anybody? No? Actually very LOW in fat"

As Hammond took out up the gloves in the first half he managed to pull off a few decent saves.  In all honesty he wasn't tested all that much, the outfield players taking their game to Santos and usually finishing an attack with a goal.  Any Santos attacks were usually broken down in midfield with interception and hard Romford Town tackles flying in from all directions. 
The Towners and their break play was superb aswell, DMK instigating some fine footwork that we'd seen in previous weeks for Towners, then releasing forwards like Murrell to take 2 goals away from the game. 
When half-time came Romford Town were winning by about 8 I think and the goalie swap took place.  Jones moving into the place between the sticks taking a fine hat-trick away from the first half.  Hammond came out on pitch, fired up for a 2nd half of destruction, the superboot was on the rampage.
On the start of the second half, Stu resumed his defensive duties in front of the Towner goal.  Obviously doing a good job in the first half as the Towners had only suffered a 2 goal deficit.  Stu's passing once again showing great improvement as he slipped the ball into space for midfielders and attackers on the Romford Town staff.

The second half brief was more of the same but Jones was intent on making sure that the Romford Town players didn't stand off the chinky bloke who proved to be one of the only threats on the other team.  Everytime he got the ball, Jones could be heard screaming at outfield players to slam the kitchen sink into the ground and cut his legs off, etc.  Another fine example of the classic Jones temperament. 
It was John McGhee who was here to tantalise however and continued his run of form in the first half to finish up on 7 goals for the Towners on a night when McGhee found a weakness in Santos in that they were crap.  The shit teams frustrations were truly evident after almost every goal saw the Santos keeper fall deeper into a state of depression.  On about goal 17 he spoke up, stopping the game to ask the ref what the score would have been if they hadn't have turned up.  In doing this he not only rubbed it in for himself and his team-mates he showed his inability to know the rules of the game.  After questioning whether it's worth continuing the game and deciding that it would be, the Towners came forward and finshed them off completely. 

"Are you thure you want to throw the game?", "Yeah" "Are you thure coz that meanth a right cafuffle"

So the Towners eventually finished up, as you can see above, 23-4, a superb victory with that man McGhee claiming more goals in that one game than he has all of last season!  Without votes it's clear to me that McGhee is the proud recipient of the Man of the Match.
Player Ratings
John McGhee - 7 goal salvo from John McGhee this week to take himself to the top of the Goalscorers page.  An excellent performance all round showing us that John McGhee no shit attitude when crunching in for those tackles and passing about in style.  Impressive control on the ball this week, excellent stuff fella, well done.
Steve Hammond - He's so good he's forgot what it's like to have a bad game!  An excellent 6 goals for the Towners this week, heaven only knows what damage would have been done if he had played both halves out on pitch.  Excellent footwork and passing as per, well done mate.
DMK - A good game with the silky footwork skills back to normal and great effect this week and took 4 goals from this encounter.  Some excellent movement and off the ball running from the fella this week.
Chris Jones - The hatrick for the first half and a good half in goal in the second.  First half passing and shotting was on fire and could have came away with a few more goals.  In goal, the boy was tested a bit more than Hammond in the first but coped well to leave the same amount past him. 
Stu Pac - A quality game from Stu as he continues to grow and improve and really show the strength that the Towners have been missing in the form of Benny.  An excellent replacement as he took two goals away for himself theis week.  Well done.
Rickee Murrell - Two goals.