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Week 13 - RTFC Vs OAPS
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RTFC - 7 Vs OAPS - 6

The penultimate game of the season treated Romford Town fans and players to a fast and furious game of five-a side football as the Towners fought to win a close victory against 5-a-side new boys the OAPS.  Pegged as a determined team that will do well next season, the OAPS are fit and strong with a captain and manager that knows all the football jargon and isn't shy about dishing it out while on the pitch.
But, with all their skills, fitness and shooting abilities they were no match for the mighty Romford Town, who themselves are happy to spend another season improving for potential promotion next year (the week after next).  Stevie Hammond once again at the centre of most moves and runs as he enabled the Towners to take the lead early on once again.  Within five minutes the OAPS were on the back foot trailing by two goals to nil thanks to two fabulous strikes from that man Hammond.  One particularly cleanly struck effort was drilled effortlessly into the far corner from the penalty spot after a clearly non-brained individual on the OAPS team passed back to the keeper.

Classic game innit. If you don't get it now, you'll see the connection...

With the absence of DMK and Benny Romford Town had a lot of quality to make up for and they did so with the introduce of Stu into the team.  Macadocious himself commanded the defence with an iron fist and came forward on one intense run, providing the forward with another option.  Laid back to the Pac he let rip from range but went wide to hit the boards next to the goal and play continued.
Towners favourite John McGhee didn't make the same mistake though as he came forward from defence to make an attacking contribution to the game with a fine goal which extended the Romford Town lead.  The mans new boots seemed to be paying off, sporting a blue pair of Total 90's.  You'll never catch me out McGhee, I know all the names...etc, etc.
Roger Westwood and his previously stirling performances for the Towners were evident again as he wasn't to be outdone against some quality opposition.  Working away, as ever, up the right and left sides it was only a matter of time before he was in a position to threaten goal.  In this match though, it wasn't to be and any chances were not completed as goals but there was more to come from dogs yet.
The return of Chris Jones to the squad enlightened some but annoyed most as he began the game with not only an erection but a determination to do well after a 5 week wrestling match with some ankle problem.  Immediately, his presence was recognised in the game as he dribbles round two defenders and slips a left-footed shot past the keeper to announce a welcome return to the team.  It wasn't long though before the flashbacks began. 'PRO EVO LOSS, PRO EVO LOSS!!!', screamed through Jones's head as he picked up the ball (thinking it was controller) and booted it across the field.  He then walked off muttering swearwords too blue for even this website and threw his bib behind the goal messing up the next sub.  But yeah, it was a nice goal, bless im.
For the second week running and clocking up his impressive 3rd cap for the Towners this season, the CRANE was between the sticks once again, like the voices in Jones's head, screaming at defenders to stop the ball from coming anywhere near our goal but opposition shots were inevitable as he tried to match last weeks super display with more acrobatics.  Spreading himself like melted butter, Crane did well to keep the ball out of the Romford Town net more often than not.  The rebounds weren't doing him or the Towners any favours though as they teased out of the area to fall kindly for any waiting OAPS who happened to be goal-hanging. 

Romford Town went into the second half with a close lead and started promisingly, McGhee particularly aroused after the interval.  But with a team full of so many excellent players, it was the Pac that had to shine as another Romford Town attack steamed forward.  Staying back had left the Pac with lashings of space when the ball was laid back to him, following the same simple trick Romford Town had try to pull off in the first half.  This time there was no mistake though as Pac lined up a cleanly hit shot to bury it beyond the stranded keeper to complete a fine move.
McGhee was after more glory too though as he joined another Towners attack.  After achingly getting near misses from usually the right side it was time to stick one in as McGhee found himself in a little bit of space again.  No mistake for the second time in the game as he added another to his goal tally.
The second half got worrying as the OAPS started turning things around.  Pulling their score back, ever closer to the Romford Town total, the Towners looked to the Dogs to bring things back for the Towners.  Starting a move in midefield he teamed up sweetly with Hammond, Jones doing his job too, to provide another option, but the Dogs picked out Hammond spectacularly so the hitman could lay the finish to rest in the back of the OAP goal and claim his hatrick.
With some bad refereeing decisions usually present every week, it's rare that I will overturn decisions but thanks to McGhee and Lyndsey (that's right darlin, you're in, you're famous, you're on the best site on the net!!!) who confirmed there was another goal scored Romford Town won this game 8-6


Player Ratings
Stu Pac - The man picks up his first Man of the Match, joint with Hammond on a night when he played like a Makadelic Makedotious.  Excellent work in defence, some lovely passing and a well taken goal make Stu a deserved recipient of this honour.
Steve Hammond - Took the joint votes after another stunning display and scoring the 100th Towners goal this season.  Super-skilled as ever, Hammond set the game up for the Towners wqith his early goals, but his tackling and crunching abilities were up there aswell, good effort mate.
John McGhee - Two fine goals and some excellent defensive work with Pac at the back, charging down shots and OAP attacks with the John McGhee determination of death.  Can't ignore his superior passing abilities on the night also.  A superb run out.
Crane - A good night for the Crane, not up there with last week but still impressive nonetheless.  Still screaming like a bitch at defenders with that classic Crane booming voice, excellent stuff from the man between the sticks.
Chris Jones - The Honz makes a triumphant return to Romford Town with two goals, the first one particularly sexual.  Hard-working and determined the Honz showed us what the Towners had been missing in a skillful player that always give evrything he's got.
Roger Dogs - A fine game for Rog as he came up trumps with a superb performance up the wings.  Passing inside, making important runs and claiming many an assist during the game to show how important the Dogs really is at Romford Town. 
Rickee Murrell - Oh my fucking god.  Piss off Murrell you nonce and come back when you can play, twat.